


This is Dangerous

by LiliBunny



Series: What Drives, Guides [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Yuri Plisetsky, Eventual Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mild Flashbacks, Mutual Pining, OtabekxYuri, Pining, Post-Canon, Top Otabek Altin, Yaoi, Yuri's mom, best parents award to viktor and yuuri, otabek has it bad for yuri, otayuri - Freeform, parental neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-02 09:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11506848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiliBunny/pseuds/LiliBunny
Summary: There is no retreat and no surrender. Not here, not now-not ever.When Yuri is left hanging with no word from Otabek he starts to feel panic sent in his bones at the unusual, compared to normal, silence. The fog in his mind begins to clear as Yuri realizes he may have feelings for his best friend. Journeying through challenges, self worth, and the past the Russian hopes for a better future with possibly his friend at his side as something more.(NOW A SERIES!)





	1. Prologue: Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, thank you so much for taking the time to read this story. I have lots of fun plans for this story so I hope you all stay tuned for what is to come <3

Love. Contrary to the belief that love is without conditions is bullshit. At least that’s what Yuri Plisetsky thought of that practically useless emotion that tasted vile even to speak the word off his tongue. What is love? To him it seemed merely like a disease that made the morons around him even more imbeciles in turn also warping the most normal person into a lovesick fool. Fools, the lot of them.  Idiotic love, that at the very least he supposed was safe as it was a mutual love. The dangers, in Yuri’s mind were as of follows: Lust, unrequited, unconditional- these were the loves that Yuri is ever afraid of that lingers in the darkest parts of his mind.

Yuri Plisetsky never saw himself as someone who _needed_ anyone. Besides his Dedushka, whom raised him best he could, the blonde felt he practically brought up himself. His mother, ever the ‘role model’ she was, made sure to hardly give a nod of approval in Yuri’s way. He often tried to leave his mind blank of her words and traumas keeping himself free of any weakness, for as long as he could however. Even with the young Russian supporting his mother and the rest of his family on his back with award money and trophies. These burdens dragged behind him like chains upon his ankles, heavily wearing him down with each step he makes in his career. Every twirl, every salchow pushing him closer to the edge of glory and extinction within his own mind. Yuri struggles with this thought every moment of his life on the ‘what ifs’. Yuri wasn’t always the exterior in personality he wears thick like a leather coat over his skin keeping the unseeking relations away. Hard work, pain, rejection, impassiveness, all things prior to his here and now have made him this way- so guarded to let anyone close to his heart. Some people forced their way in without him realizing until he couldn’t deny the obvious. Yakov, Lilia-they’re givens from routine interaction, molding him to be the very best with the upmost discipline and care. The pig Katsuki and airhead Viktor, just the same- not that the younger would admit it to the older men, but they weaseled their way into being his family, much more devoted than his those by blood-like his mother. The pair were just as caring and parental as his dear Deduska. Yuri found himself embarrassed in truth at how easily they broke past his layers even with his resist with his snarling attitude.

Then there is Otabek, never would Yuri admit willingly that he nearly fainted at someone actually asking to be his friend. Yuri never had a true friend before, everyone was either competition or insignificant. So, when the male from Kazakhstan asked him, with such very few words he might add, the blonde found it hard to keep himself from sputtering nonsense and his heart from leaping out of his chest.

They were immediately the best of friends, Yuri even realized after only months of knowing each other that he couldn’t even remember a time without Otabek in his life. He couldn’t remember a day where he didn’t see a morning message, nor could he remember a time where they didn’t facetime once every week. No, Yuri couldn’t pull away from these thoughts that Otabek truly meant so much to him-not just a friend, but _the_ friend-his _best friend_ ever.

It was a night as ordinary as any other, that Yuri came home from practice covered from head to toe in sweat. His muscles a little overly sore as he made a soft wince of a sound while he entered his room. Still currently living with Lilia and Yakov he was careful of his complaining around them as it would only be worse the next session if he would. Having not even spared a glance at his phone he suspected Otabek probably left him a few messages, most likely the standard:

_‘morning’_

_‘have a good lunch, Yura.’_

_‘want to skype later?’_

_‘saw a cat that looked like you’_ _-[image attached](https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2017/04/05/20/10/cat-2206192_960_720.jpg)-_

_‘still in practice?’_

_‘message me when you get home’_

 

Yes, most likely just the usual few worded text messages that was the usual tone of the older male’s messages. Spoke very few words physically, but always showed he cared.

After a shower and much needed after practice stretching Yuri reached for his phone charging on his bed as he patted a towel over his blonde locks. Scrolling through his notifications he saw there were a few messages from Instagram, a few from Viktor, one from the pig, a few twitter alerts from his fanclub- he involuntarily gave a shiver- and…nothing. There was nothing else, no message, no missed calls, not one thing from Otabek all day. Immediately the blonde’s eyebrow raised as he scrolled back through, opening and closing apps confirming that in fact he didn’t miss a notification from the male. Still nothing.

Yuri’s lips gave a small frown as he sent a message quickly tapping his fingers along the keys.

_‘Hey. You.’_

He waited, not giving it more than half a minute for a response he sent another.

_‘Busy?’_

The blonde began to chew at the corner of his thumbnail feeling nerves suddenly prickle at his insides. Why? He was probably just busy, probably training late and didn’t have much time message him. That’s all it was-it had to be.

Scoffing at himself for thinking such sentimental things Yuri tossed his phone back to his sheets he fell to the comfort of the bed himself staring up at his ceiling. Turning over curling up against himself, much like a cat, the blonde felt his eyes begin to close as sleep was forced upon him.

 

 

The next morning came faster than the blonde could have hoped, the sun being the asshole that it was crept inside his room past his curtains cascading right upon his face. Growling a tad, sounding more like a soft kitten tiredly under his breath, Yuri reached for his phone holding it up checking his notifications under the blinding light. Nothing, still nothing. A feeling sank within him, but trying to ignore it he sent another message.

_‘message me when you’re not busy’_

Okay, maybe two messages.

_‘hope you’re okay. Message me shithead’_

Sighing to himself, Yuri stretched his arms above his head his toes gave a slight curl with his movement. Grumbling to himself he rose from his bed making Potya bounce off him to the floor meowing at him with little aggression. With paying little mind to the current insane bedhead he was sporting he began to ready himself for the day another busy training day. The day continued to get worse, he became irritated quicker and had trouble controlling his temper. Quickly realizing without Otabek to vent to he became less than tolerable by most of his rink mates. The blonde fought with quite a few between the start and end of his practice routine lashing out over simple things Yuri knew shouldn't have been said. The day ended just as harsh with a speech from Yakov about his behavior. After being sent to his room for insulting Lilia's cooking, Yuri merely rolled eyes obviously feeling no regret in his attitude. His mood swings were a complete mess by the end of the day leaving him to slam his bedroom door with a loud shut echoing down the hall. After crawling into his bed after a harshly hot shower, back stinging red from the water, Yuri checked his phone once more eyes wavering to read over the most simple of words from his rage. Again, nothing- sighing he curled a hand under his pillow growling a softened sound to himself before falling asleep to the sounds of the night playing outside his window. 

A week went by like this, with each day and still no reply Yuri  was afraid of losing his mind. All day he had been flubbing his jumps, it wasn’t until he yelled back at Yakov for the third time that day he was kicked off the ice to go and cool down. Muttering to himself at the edge of the rink he kept to his stretches in his ‘time out’ when Mila invaded his space leaning on his back as he was bent forward over a frontal split.

“Your boyfriend still not talking to you? ~’ She smirked sing-songing in his ear.

Shoving back against her to sit up he growled. “Fuck off baba!” Giving a swat of a hand in her direction he bent over stretching against one leg holding the pose. “and he is not my boyfriend” he muttered under his breath.

“You know if you just admitted you like him to yourself maybe you’d stop being such a little brat” Mila snickered. “That’s why you’re acting like a pissed off kitten on the ice today~ If Otabek was messaging he would have told you to behave”

Yuri immediately sat up spinning his body around to glare at her, he then yelled. “It’s not any of your business!!!!! You-“ Yuri’s eyes went wide as he heard his phone go off, Otabek’s ringtone.

 


	2. Unwanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go guys :)   
> Hope everyone is liking it so far :)

The annoying and shrill sound of an electric beat of bass was singled out against any other intrusion to Yuri’s ears. Scrambling himself away from Mila the blonde reached for his phone where ‘Beka’ was displayed with a photo of the subject of conversation brightly illuminated on his screen awaiting for him to answer. Without a second thought nor reason to his hastiness Yuri answered the call swiftly. Before the younger could even think through calmly asking what the reasoning of Otabek’s silence was, his teeth clenched tight as he let out a small growl. He was angry, his eyes narrowed in irritation from what he couldn’t understand. Otabek had a right to have a life outside of skating, outside of Yuri, but-the Russian didn’t like that he was seemingly being ignored. Glaring angrily at the wall blinded in his frustration he then opened his mouth inhaling deeply to begin a yelling fit of questions.

“Where t-“

“Yura.” A voice cut him off suddenly on the other end, a sense of stern attitude in the masculine yet monotone sound of Otabek speaking with authority. The male seemed prepared for Yuri to lash out, which meant he must have known he had been trying to get a hold of him. Yuri then snarled to himself, that also must mean in turn the other had been ignoring him after all. Yuri wouldn’t let him get out of this so easily, not by a long shot.

Yuri was angry, very angry. He hated the twisting and churning in his gut warning him to stop, to think rationally. However, his mind was too far gone to think anything of clearness in this moment. “NO! Where have you been asshole?! You know- I was worried! But things must be all fine and dandy for you to fucking ignore me!” Yuri hated each foul phrase he spat at his friend. He felt filthy and low for taking such actions against the other who hadn’t truly done anything wrong. It had only been a week, hardly more, yet Yuri couldn’t control the emotions bubbling over inside him as his thoughts raced to what the hell Otabek could have been doing to have taken so much of his time. Otabek wasn’t really too social, even with his DJing he was always up away from the crowd. Even so with their busy schedules he always messaged him, even when it wasn’t wanted. He would always practically check to make sure Yuri was eating his greens. So, what the hell had he been doing?!

A long sigh escaped over the speaker, “Yura, please.” Guilt was playing over those words, Yuri felt proud-at least that’s what he told himself to hear the other sound remorse over ignoring him for so long. “Let me explain-“

“SOMEONE BETTER!” Yuri bit the inside of his cheek, he hadn’t meant to say that. He felt the ache in his stomach get worse, he pushed on trying to ignore it. He felt he was the one who was right, Otabek was in the wrong. “You are a shitty friend for ignoring me like that you asshole!”

‘Stop it’ Yuri thought to himself as his mouth began to spit out words he didn’t want to say.

“Is it that much of a trouble to talk to me Beka?! Am I that much of an inconvience to your such active social life?!”

Yuri felt sick, ‘stop it stop it stop it, you’re making this bigger than it is. He cares-he cares. STOP IT’

Poison continued to leave past Yuri’s lips. “Are you even my friend?! What kind of friend ignores their _best friend?!_ ”

“You don’t mean that Yura…” Otabek sounded torn between speaking his reasonings and calming Yuri down. However, even his own tone the male sounded a tad off. It was a strange voice Yuri had trouble identifying the emotion.

“Of course, I do why else would I say it?! You don’t even care about me to even answer my messages! You’re the worst!” Yuri slammed his fist on the edge of the rink drawing even more eyes to him which he had yet to notice. Mila however was attempting to take his phone away from him, she was saying things he couldn’t understand- it was only waves of water to his ears. He snarled each word as he lost more of himself spouting lies. “You never think of me! You only think of yourself!” Yuri’s entire body began to shake, his stomach felt painful as his body seemed to finally remember too late that this had happened before, but he couldn’t stop it. Angry tears pricked at his eyes as he tried to internally stop himself. “I HATE YOU _MOM_!” The words leaving his lips, the blonde then smashed his phone harsh against the ice of the rink watching it smash to pieces.  

Everything was silent said for the harsh unsteady breathing of Yuri panting over the outer edge. His mouth gasping for air as his eyes slowly came to recollection of what he just did. Yuri felt everyone’s eyes on him as he began to shake in tremors over the edge. Yakov stared blankly at him in horror, the disgusting duo pair of Viktor and Yuuri watched him with tears in their eyes. Mila cautiously placed a hand upon his back before climbing over the edge skating past everyone to grab the tattered puzzle pieces that was his phone. He fell into himself as she slowly picked up the pieces placing them careful in Viktor’s outstretched hand. Skating over the pair of them, Yuuri had somehow snuck up behind him saying words he couldn’t comprehend. The Japanese male telling him to calm down, to breathe. He was breathing, wasn’t he? He was alive-no, no he wasn’t. He felt the weight of everything crash upon him further as he sank to his knees. That wasn’t his mother, it was Otabek. When had he turned it around to her? The angry tears turned sad had begun to fall down his cheeks with warm trails as he hiccupped a breath trying to hide his face from view behind his hair.

Viktor returned to him with Yakov where they managed to lift him up with his things taking him to his and Yuuri’s car. Yuri couldn’t think straight, he felt guilt and the dreadful result of what he had done churn up inside him. Otabek must hate him. Suddenly at that thought he keeled over vomiting on the sidewalk as he choked a sob. Viktor ushered the pair to prepare the car as he held back Yuri’s tangled up long hair from his face rubbing soft circles on his back.  Brushing over his hair he spoke softly in his ear. “We have you Yurachkta, breathe. We’re taking you home with us, we’re going to stop by and pick up some of your things okay?” All Yuri could do was nod before he choked forward again splattering the little lunch he had along the pavement.

After the platinum, haired male wiped a cloth over his mouth, Yuri was lead to the car. There he sat, his mind wandering to nothingness as his eyes stared blankly out the window. Even when they arrived at Lilia’s house he waited as they went inside and grabbed a few of his belongings for his stay. Yuri wouldn’t argue. He was done arguing, there was no winning. The male was just going to let them do what the felt was right for him for a change without a fight.

After a long hot shower turned cold, Yuri crawled into his bed in the spare bedroom. Words of comfort lost on his deaf ears as his mind was lost for the night. Turning over to his side his eyes grew heavy with sleep and began to dream.

 _“Mama? Mama?” A soft voice spoke calling out in wonder. Then there was a small little huff. “MA-MA!” A stomp of a foot over an old creaking floorboard a young boy held a landline phone in his hand, cord pooling around his small feet._  
  
“YURI STOP ITTTT….” A woman’s voice spoke over a more static than picture tv show sounding obviously annoyed at the mere sound of the child’s voice and presence beside her.  “Go to bed!” Her dusty blonde hair a neat beautiful mess over her shoulder, her makeup perfect- ready for a night out. 

_A young Yuri glanced up from past the arm rest of his mother’s chair, little fingers curled inward in a fist. The child put the large phone back to his ear, hearing a soft comforting voice speak over the line to him to urge her to put him to bed.  He then spoke up to his mother again. “Mama NO! Dedushka said you must get up! You’re supposed to put me to bed, I have school tomorrow.”_

_“Come on Yuri, you aren’t smart enough for school. Only rich and smart kids go to school. You don’t want all of your Grandfather’s money to go to waste do you?” The smaller in the room shook his head feeling bad for asking the request. “Good, now be good and go to fucking bed.” The words though slowly said with a smile and cheery tone, their words meant anything but. Young Yuri began to shift nervously over his footed pajamas. The insults, though small were tugging inside his young mind._

_The six-year-old felt tears gather at the corners of his eyes in fear of walking down the long dark hallway alone to put himself to bed. Monsters always lurked in the dark and usually his grandpa was home by now to protect him, but he had to work late at the factory to earn more money for their family. All these things around him too complex for his small, young mind to understand. “But…mama-“_

_“I said go to bed!” The woman snapped. Sighing she rolled her eyes at her son with little true affection in her eyes. “Come on Yuri. You’re six now, be a man.”_

_He flinched as he put the phone back to his ear. “Dedushka…” he wailed softly. “when are you coming home?” A soft sigh came from the phone as he then heard his grandfather speak obviously hearing how his daughter was treating her son. “Yuri, go wait in the kitchen okay. I’ll be home soon, I’ll take care of those monsters for you okay?”_

_“O..ka..y.” The tearful voice of the child spoke through hands holding tight to the phone long after the call had ended._

 

It was nearly midnight when Yuri woke up with his heart racing in his chest, gasping for breath he looked frantically taking in the area around him trying to remember what had happened. “Mama…” He said sorrowfully as he put a hand to his head. He tried not to think of her, he tried time and time again to forget the woman who had given him life. But he couldn’t. He was still holding onto her and those memories.

Otabek- he then felt the day flood back to him. He felt horrible, guilt ate away at him as he remembered the sound of his phone hitting the ice. Otabek probably was so angry at him, he was so mean. However, Yuri couldn’t will himself just to let him go. He was his best friend, he l-cared about him. He was the fierce Ice Tiger of Russia and he would be damned if he lost Otabek without a fight, and an apology. His phone though destroyed, he wondered if Otabek hadn’t blocked him via skype. It was worth a shot, the man having no concept of social media besides his rarely posted Instagram this was his only option since his phone number was lost from memory. Leaping off the bed, falling to the floor with a thud his body still numb from the large waves of emotion he crawled to his bags on the floor hoping one of those two love birds grabbed his laptop. Luck was on his side as Yuri found it in his backpack. Plugging it in he opened up immediately clicking about opening his account praying Otabek didn’t delete him from his behavior.

Logging in he was stunned to see not only was Otabek still listed in his contacts, but there were numerous messages. Clicking upon the bold highlighted text of the message, he began to read nervous at what he might find.

_(Beka 12:30 PM) Yura, please forgive me. I am sorry. I know you’re upset. Try to calm down Yuri. Call me back. Please, I know we only talked briefly of your family, but we both know this isn’t just about me. Please Yura call me back._

_(Beka 12:43 PM) Mila messaged me, please if you read this message me-call me here. Any time please._

_(Beka 12:02 PM) I’m really worried about you. Viktor called me. Yura please we need to talk this out. I don’t want to stop being your friend. I know you’re mad at me for ignoring you, but please it was all just a misunderstanding._

_(Beka 13:56 PM) I can’t stop worrying. Are you okay? I asked Viktor and Yuuri to have you call me when you got up, but I can’t wait._

_(Beka 13:59 PM) I have to get back to practice, but please call me or message me when you get up._

_(Beka 19:14 PM) Yuri are you awake?_

_(Beka 20:01 PM) I know I’m spamming your account, but knowing you won’t go to them right away I know you’ll see these..you have to. Please._

_(Beka 20:03 PM) (Missed Video Call Altin, Otabek)_

_(Beka 20:04 PM) (Missed Video Call Altin, Otabek)_

_(Beka 20:05 PM) (Missed Video Call Altin, Otabek)_

_(Beka 20:05 PM) Yura please are you okay? I’m worried._

_(Beka 21:22 PM) Call me._

_(Beka 22:31 PM) Yura?_

_(Beka 23:56 PM) Yura I’m serious, if you’re somehow reading these and its not alerting me._

_(Beka 24:00 AM) Please.._

_(Beka 1 Minute Ago) Yura. Please say something if you’re there. I just saw you read it please._

Yuri stared at his screen fingers lingering over the keys. Beka thought this was his fault, that made Yuri feel even worse. Slowly, his fingers began to type out a sentence.

_(Yura Just Now) Doesn’t feel so good does it?_

_(Beka Just Now)_ Yuri please. I am so sorry please forgive me.

 

Inhaling sharply, the blonde collected himself. No, it wasn’t Otabek’s fault Yuri knew that. He was still a little upset, but he wanted to make this right. His mouse hovered over the button that would make this real, his mind still playing catch up. Click.

 

(Plisetsky, Yuri Calling)


	3. Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope everyone is enjoying. I like writing this as a way to relax and keep my mind elsewhere away from issues going on in my own life. So thank you all for keeping with me :)

As Yuri let out a shaky exhale of breath his nerves were fluttering over him. His leg bounced with anticipation jumping only slightly watching as his video call was immediately answered. Otabek’s tired face slowly came into view, being three hours ahead of him he must be exhausted. The male’s face was excessively worn, eyes red from sleeplessness, far too red which made Yuri raise an eyebrow in curiousity. “Yura.” His voice spoke swift in almost panic that Yuri would end the call so fast.

“I’m here.” Yuri responded lowly hiding his face a tad behind his leg, chin resting on his knee. “So…” The blonde hated this, he felt awkward and nervous. His fingers began to pick and pull at the cotton fabric that was his leggings. It was just Otabek, but Yuri felt he had betrayed him in some way-took their friendship and smothered it in the dirt. For that fact, he felt great shame for acting like such a brat. “I’m sorry.” He said instead of furthering his question on where the other had been, he had no true right to pry anyway.

“Yura.” The tanned male spoke again pulling himself closer to the screen, his brown eyes staring deep into Yuri’s soul. His lips pressed then together as if weighing in on what he should say. Yuri didn’t have to wait long for the Kazakh spoke up. “I miss you.”

Those words were not what the Russian had been expecting. Nodding softly his eyes peaked up a tad to look more at his friend. “I miss you too.”  In favor of avoiding Otabek's eyes, Yuri stared down at his socks eyes following the tiger stripes to keep his attention elsewhere to make this apology easier. He bit over his lip pressing down his pride. “I am sorry. I was an asshole. You obviously have the right to do your own thing and hang out with other people, date it’s still your life.” Yuri bit hard onto his tongue, why did he mention dating? The very thought of Otabek leaving him to go be someone’s domestic garbage besides his own made his mind swell with jealous. He of course blamed Mila for putting such a dumb idea into his head, he must have sounded weird by saying that. Yuri’s attention from Otabek in favor of his own internal panic at was and what wasn’t normal to do between friends. This thought made him consider the window of their own friendship. Neither of them were the most normal of the bunch, but their friendship itself was it weird?

“Koteyok” A voice spoke up louder suddenly breaking Yuri from his thoughts at a nickname he only let one-person use making his heart skip a beat. The name was usually used as a joke when Yuri was particularly angry, but too furious in his movements making them too silly to be taken seriously. In this moment it as it was spoken so softly even in the alerting tone made Yuri completely halt in his own words, voice only sputtering to come up with something to say. Blushing in angered embarrassment he covered his face realizing he had spaced out. He then broke his gaze away from Otabek who was looking over him, eyes bearing concern and something else. “Look at me Yura.”

Bitterness on his tongue, Yuri forced himself to look back at his friend with a sighing huff of air. “Yea?” He muttered as looking over the male before him as well. Otabek’s room looked a disaster, which was strange as he was always known to Yuri as very neat and organized. It was then Yuri saw bags under the Kazakh man’s eyes. He must not have slept in days; those red puffy eyes began to make him worry at the combination of his incredibly disheveled appearance and room.

A beat of silence passed between them before Otabek then spoke once more, slowly with eyes pleading for Yuri to listen. “I wish I could be there with you right now.” Before Yuri could mention their upcoming vacation together he shut his mouth at the male holding up his hand. He knew him too well. Otabek reached and ran his hand along the screen, Yuri assumed with his breath catching in his lungs it was his face the male was framing with his palm. “I would push back that hair of yours so I could see your eyes.”

As it was mentioned, Yuri unconsciously brushed his fingers back pushing the strands behind his ear. His face suddenly felt warm as Otabek smiled at him, his eyes ever sad as he did this. “There he is, my Tiger.” The male gave a chuckle that sounded awfully forced. “At least this way I can see your eyes.” Another shaky sigh passed in the air over the low audio emitting from Yuri’s laptop. “You’re a brat Yura.” Yuri’s eyes narrowed a tad at the slight insult to him. “, but that is who you are. Someone who demands attention for someone to look upon you. You demand respect, and crave to be praised. I like these things about you Yura. I think about you so much it’s honestly trouble, but I won’t give you up Yura. You’re my best friend.” He smiled in such a way that was a beautiful comfort.

Yuri saw him then take a drink of something that instantly the blonde knew wasn’t water. “What are you drin-“

“Don’t worry about it.” Otabek spoke immediately, obviously not wanting to stray away from what he obviously had to say to talk about his drinking habits. “I’m not finished” he sighed. “You are mad because I _ignored_ you for a week. I get it. Like I said, You like the attention” He chuckled lightly again as he grinned at his own joke. “but I wasn’t really ignoring you Yura. I was just-shit.” The male grumbled running a hand over his eyes and up through his hair. “ _You’re just so perfect Yuri.”_ Otabek returned his stare up to Yuri’s own pair of green-blue hues. “I want you to know that it wasn’t you that ruined this friendship. It was me from the very start.”

Yuri began to panic, he didn’t like where this was going. “Wait! Otabek! You can’t mean we aren’t friends anymore?” He clung to his laptop for life as he watched the male’s expression intently. Otabek’s brows furrowed in thought before rolling his shoulders which had grown even more stronger over time.

“You have the eyes of the soldier. That was my first thought of you. Those eyes of yours have especially haunted me every day and night over this week. I was beginning to wonder how I was ever going to give you up. Then I decided, I won’t. Because you mean so much to me Yuri that I don’t care what becomes of me after this, that is what I decided. I have been thinking, a lot over the past few days. Trying to-just-fuck keep things together in here” Otabek pressed his palms hard to his skull as a shuttering breath past over his lips. “You have no idea the things I want to do Yuri. With you, to you- you have no idea.” His voice cracked over the speaker making the hairs on the blonde’s skin prick up. “I avoided you because I love you Yuri.” Otabek breathed out with a pained smile, a smile happy of the release of those words.

Yuri’s brain practically stopped working. His lips moved as he tried to speak, but his voice wouldn’t come out. Just merely soft squeaks of sounds chirping from his vocal cords as he tried to form words. There was a clenching in his chest aching so painfully at what to do. Yuri’s panting began to pick up as he struggled to remember how to breathe.

“I love you my Yuri. I want us to still be friends no matter what, so don’t give up on me. I just- until this…feeling goes away..I need to…-fuck!” Otabek yelled angrily as he ended the call. The lingering icon showing Otabek had disconnected was eating away burning into Yuri’s eyes.

The blonde’s body fell numbly back against the sheets of a bed not his own as he tried to process his emotionally conflicted brain to understand what just happened. Yuri had never seen Otabek get so-well-emotional with anything. Always a smile here or there, possibly a frown. He didn’t even think that the ot other’s voice could pitch any higher than monotone.  They used to be able to read each other so well, they knew each other like the very back of their hands. Even with their distance they were practically made for each in aspects of personality. Otabek the quieter and reserve, Yuri the ever vocal and outlandish; it just made sense. However, seeing and hearing emotions he thought he could read so well placed almost painfully over Otabek’s features, Yuri gave a yell out in annoyance. How could he have not seen how his friend was apparently ‘suffering’ at his side. Yuri couldn’t understand why Otabek was speaking like he didn’t feel the very same. The Russian’s eyes widened, but he didn’t he realized. Otabek didn’t obviously understand he liked him too otherwise why would he ignore him and try to deal with this on his own? Shit. Sitting up in a rush Yuri clicked and clicked trying to call Otabek again.

(Plisetsky Yuri Calling)

(Call Failed, Contact is offline)

“DAMN IT!” Yuri yelled as trying again and again. Until now, he hadn’t cared what people said about them. There was always ideas and rumors even rinkmates sticking their noses into their business, but they never mattered. They were what they were and in Yuri’s mind if something developed into more between them it wouldn’t matter to him; fuck people and their judgements.

(Call Failed, Contact is Offline)

“Fuckkkkkkkkk” Yuri grumbled as smacking his hand along the keys. His head and chest ached painfully at this entire discovery. To come to term with the emotion so many were trying to put in his head was physically drowning him. He needed to see Otabek, he couldn’t wait to sort this out. He didn’t want Otabek’s feelings for him to just go away. He wanted those feelings, to hold onto them and claim them as his own. He was Otabek’s just as much as he was his and everyone would damn well know it by the time this ordeal was through. Kicking off his sheets he jumped out of bed stomping down the hall towards the pig and Viktor’s nest egg of a bedroom. Without warning he kicked open their door making it smack against the wall with a heavy thud. Long blonde hair a mess of strands in his face,Yuri growled low with sweat running along his brow.  

“Get up you old fucks I need you to take me to the airport!”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated but not expected <3


	4. Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging in there with me guys.   
> Trust me, good things are coming soon

In the dark bedroom lit only by the very small peek of light from the hallway was Yuuri and Viktor’s room with an awfully energetic Yuri at their bedside. Grumbling in his sleep Viktor ignored the younger snuggling closer to his beloved, while Yuuri was less easy to feign sleep. The dark-haired man reached blindly to the bedside table thumbing for his glasses. After ungracefully sliding them on he looked to the rather excited looking blonde bouncing impatiently against the doorway. “Yurio…what-“ he passed a glance to the digital clock shining torturous red display of just a little after 1:30 in the morning. Himself and his husband had just gone to bed no more than three hours ago and himself little under an hour of actual sleep. Yuuri sighed “Now call down calm down-Viktor..” He mumbled in slight tired annoyance at his husband held tighter to his waist snuggling sluggishly against his shirt while he attempted to sit up. After gaining some leverage, the Japanese male propped himself up slowly to lean against the headboard hand tugging free from his lover’s hold to rest itself on top of his head brushing his fingers through the platinum strands. “Now what is going on?” He yawned out.

Yuri rolled his eyes at their domesticity as stomping a foot upon the floor. “You need to take me to the airport right now!” His teeth seethed in annoyance while his fists shook at his sides. The blonde struggled to keep his composure as to why these two morons wouldn’t wake up already and do as he had asked. He glanced to Yuuri raising an eyebrow in expectancy waiting for him to get himself out of bed. “Well? Let’s go!” He tapped his foot impatiently at the other’s look upon him, gazing at him as if he were a mere child.

“It’s just past 1:30 Yurio what are you talking about? Where exactly do you plan to be going?” Yuuri questioned his eyes studying over Yuri’s appearance gathering in his own way on what on earth could have possibly riled the other to this rash and sudden decision.

Scoffing an aggravated elongated sigh, Yuri groaned. “I need to see Beka! Just give me Baldy’s card and I’ll book it myself.”

Yuuri shook his head, ignoring the insult to his husband as they were just empty words. “You can’t just jump on a plane for no reason.”

“Why the fuck not?! That’s how your dumb husband found you in the fucking first place!” Yuri growled, he didn’t have time for this. Fuck it, he would get Viktor’s card himself as he didn’t think he could budget the funds, but that oaf had tons of money. Snarling again he turned away from the door rushing down the hall quickly before Yuuri could stop him.

Yuuri seemed to catch on quicker than the blonde anticipated, he leaned over and shook his husband. “Vitya, Yurio’s trying to take your credit card again.”

Immediately the other male’s eyes jolted open and he sprung himself to bed rushing out of the bedroom. It was hard to admit that it was rather humorous to Yuuri watching his husband extravagantly jump himself out of bed nearly running himself smack face first into the door. He could hear the pair yelling up a storm, sighing he brought himself out of bed feeling he needed to dig deeper into this, find out what was really going on.

Walking his way into the kitchen he spotted the dualing Russians, Yuri was currently attempting to climb upon their kitchen cabinet’s with his lover grabbing tight to one of the blonde’s ankles trying to tug him down.

“You’re going to hurt yourself little Yurio, come on get down!” Viktor though grinning it was obvious he was annoyed as he yelled up at the blonde biting in his direction tugging more at his leg.

Yuri on the other hand was holding tight to Viktor’s wallet in one hand, his other hand pressed hard into the edge of the cabinet for dear life. “GET THE FUCK OFF” His foot gave a little shake and kick trying to get the other off of him.

Yuuri had to admit it was also just as funny as Viktor leaping himself from bed. The pair looked in his eyes in that moment just like a furious kitten and a dog. “Alright that’s enough!” He yelled making the pair freeze only for then Yuri to fall off the counter in time being caught in Viktor’s arms who smirked at him snatching his wallet. The blonde spouted curses and fought his way out of the other’s hold falling with a thud to the floor glaring up at the pair. “Now, let’s talk this out. What on earth is going on that you need to drop everything and fly to Almaty.”

“Fuck I need to tell you for!” Yuri bit back teeth hissing in his words. His wallet now safe in his sleep pants pocket, Viktor leaned down tugging the blonde up to his feet.

“I’m not angry, “Viktor began softly, Yuri merely scoffed though knowing it was true was feeling they were wasting valuable time. “Now, talk to me..what happened?” He held the younger’s face in his hands like he was nothing but a child, he was a fucking adult yet they still refused to treat him as such. The male glared at him being as usual defiant, but after seeing the caring emotion in Viktor’s eyes he glanced away before mumbling beneath his breath.

“I need to see Beka..he-we ended up talking over skype and he said some things..” Yuri felt himself blush as he began to speak about this with Viktor and Yuuri of all people, but who else did he have? In truth really? Otabek was his best and only real friend that he felt he could talk about anything and everything with. This pair? This pair were annoying and invasive, but they took care of him and wanted what was best for him. Deep down he knew this to be true even though he made it difficult for them with his attitude.

Viktor nodded as guiding Yuri to sit down which he numbly followed to plant himself on one of the four wooden chairs of their dining table. “And?” The male pressed as he watched his husband pat a comforting hand upon the blonde’s own.

“And he told me he loved me, that-he wanted us to still be friends..That’s why he ignored me! Because he loved me! How fucking stupid is that?!” Yuri’s fingers pressed hard onto the table nails barely digging into the surface hardly enough to cause damage.

Yuuri then chimed in running his thumb in an attempt for comfort over the blonde’s hand. “He was probably afraid. Otabek probably was so scared to tell you and ruin your friendship.” He looked to his husband thinking back to their own confrontations of feelings. “Maybe he just needed to think things through before telling you? Otabek doesn’t really seem that outgoing of a person to just come out and say something like that. He probably just wanted to think things through.”

Yuri shook his head hands trembling. “He wanted to forget about it. He-he thought I didn’t feel the same, would never feel the same feelings. So the fucking idiot ignored me so he could get over them, just deciding things on his own! That asshole doesn’t know anything about how I feel!” But then whose fault is that? Was it his own? He hadn’t really known what he felt for the other was more than friendship. Hell, Otabek was his first real friend how was he supposed to define what was a normal feeling for a friend, but when he got down to thinking about it; it was just Otabek. He wouldn’t think half the things he does about Otabek for anyone else; not anyone. Yuri knew that now deep in his bones that this feeling, this once indescribable emotion could now only be described as love. He didn’t want Otabek to forget his love for him, for own for Otabek would haunt him the rest of his life if he didn’t do something about it. Though here he was wasting time! The blonde moved to sit up only to be pushed back down to the sit by a steady hand on his shoulder. His body shook a tad as he felt a wave of emotions by pass over him. He couldn’t lose it. He couldn’t.

Yuuri watched cautiously as Yuri’s fingers twitched beneath his own, glancing up to the blonde he frowned looking to Viktor whose eyes met his own making a contact of worry.

Yuri began to breathe in sharply, trying to catch a breath that was burning in his lungs. His vision began to spot in the corners of his eyes making it difficult to see before him as his view blurred. He went completely still eyes blankly staring forward.

“Yuri?” The darker haired male spoke softly placing another hand over top of his other rubbing circles over the soft skin of Yuri’s palm.

Yuri’s mind was blank as he tried to think what was going on. He struggled to remember, but he felt like it was something important.

Viktor shook his head eyes very alert watching the blonde closely before he then whispered to Yuuri. “Get his tiger pillow from his room, hurry.” Nodding slowly somewhat understanding, however very confused, Yuri moved to get the object from the other room.

Yuri kept silent between them, until then suddenly his breathing began to slowly pick up. “Yuuri” Viktor called out in alarm for his husband to hurry while holding suddenly onto Yuri’s face.

Yuri could feel something warm on his cheeks, it felt nice. Wait-Otabek! The blonde then realized it was very hard to breathe. He messed up, he needed to make things right! He couldn’t see! Why couldn’t he move?! Yuri felt panic seep inside him, but as the warm glided along his cheeks he watched as his vision slowly came into focus, Viktor was staring right at him. He couldn’t help but feel guilt at how worried the male looked. Was he worried about him? He was fine. Yuri watched as the Japanese Yuri walked in with his tiger pillow, a present from his Deduska. Trapped in his own mind he watched as Viktor quickly snatched the thing and placed the pillow into his hands before pulling him into a tight embrace petting over his hair.

“Breathe Yuri.” The soft tone of the other’s voice made him give out a large gasp as he tried to inhale too quickly. “Easy, breathe with me. You’re right here, with me and Yuuri. It’s okay.” Yuri tried to listen to Viktor’s gentle voice attempting to even out his labored breathes.

“Vik-tor..?” The blonde panted before he was cut off with another pet over his hair.

“Shhh, breathe with me _Yuratchka_.”

After another moment or two Yuri slumped into Viktor’s arms all tenseness leaving his body as he fell against the other’s hold. Viktor felt Yuri’s breathing get deep, he must have worn himself out. “Sleep _Yuratchka._ We can talk in the morning.”

A soft nod brushed against the other’s shoulders, a tiredly dazed voice passed over Yuri’s lips. “Tell Mama I’m sorry.” With that the blonde fell asleep in Viktor’s arms, fingers clenching tight to the pillow even in sleep.

“Viktor?” Yuuri asked softly not sure what had happened. “Panic attack?”  He had his own fair share of them that his husband all too often had to talk him out of, but this seemed different.

Viktor nodded as lifting Yuri completely into his arms to carry him back to bed. “Something like that.” The pair walked together returning the blonde to his borrowed bedroom tucking him in. After returning to their own room Viktor let out a shaky breath as running a hand through his hair in frustration and exhaustion. The dead silence between them made him shutter to then speak. “I’ve known Yuri for many years, he’s always been that confident brat we both love.” He smiled to his husband weakly. “,but his mother…I doubt she ever loved him.”

Yuuri shook his head eyes wide in horror. “That’s terrible, not loving her own child.” He numbly watched as Viktor’s smile remained as moving closer to him bracing him in a tight hug in need of his own comfort.

“He’s afraid of love Yuuri..afraid to have it, lose it, feel it. His mother I doubt ever gave him an ounce of it.” Viktor shuttered a breath again. “Years ago, with Eros at the hot springs competition..you both wondered why I gave you the opposite of what you believed you both easily could display…Yuri’s…unconditional love; Agape. He has been avoiding it his whole life, he tried to move on from bad memories of love and  built a wall around himself. He loves his grandfather unconditionally very much so, just as he un-admittingly feels toward us I believe. Though, with that same unconditional love he gave to his mother, she crushed it to dust." 

Viktor’s arms tightened upon his love proudly as the stories resurfaced about Yuri in his mind. Yuuri rubbed soothing circles upon the other’s back as tears came to his eyes learning this. To be afraid of love? What a horrible way to live. “What made him have the attack? Feeling love?” 

Viktor shrugged in his arms pressing a kiss to the skin of Yuuri’s shoulder. “I couldn’t say, but…if Otabek loves him as he says he is probably afraid of losing it before it has a chance between them to spark.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon :)   
> Things will be brought further to light :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading. I know this isn't that 'fancy' of a fic, but its just something fun :)   
> Hope some of you are enjoying it. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated ,but not expected <3


	5. No More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually kinda liked this chapter <3  
> thanks for hanging in there everyone <3

Why is love so complex? Why must loving someone must be so complicated? Is it so wrong to fall for your best friend? Otabek wouldn’t know for he had fallen for Yuri Plisetsky not just once but twice in his life. It was when they were mere children when he first felt the butterflies in his stomach clenching their wings suffocating him at his heart with the first thoughts of love. The very moment their eyes met, ever so briefly, the male could sense the younger had gone through great struggles to get where he was that very day. It was admirable, very well worth to deserve anything the blonde could want in life. Otabek knew that in those eyes that shook down to his very soul, that he would give anything he could to see that boy have the attention he deserved.

However, thus was the crush of a child those thoughts were pushed away as their distance grew between one another. The younger moving on to better things, while Otabek jumped from rink to rink, country to country before making his way home. He must admit, he became quite obsessed over the blonde, not to say he was a stalker-no that would be highly immoral. Though, the Kazakh would never admit now to his best friend and still crush Yuri Plisetsky that he unintentionally started the blonde’s fanclub. It was just an accident, but he would never regret it on his life. Scrolling through one of the many forums along the internet, which was and never will be his friend he recklessly defended the fairy under a screen name calling his beauty and grace a gift from God. That he was so angelic and graceful dance across the ice.  Before Otabek knew it, the name ‘Yuri’s Angels’ spread like wild fire. Deleting his accounts, Otabek shut his laptop terrified of the monsters he unleashed.

It wasn’t until Barcelona that Otabek couldn’t have been more thankful for his actions years prior. At first, upon seeing the blonde again the male held back a shutter of excitement at seeing those blue-green hues that were Yuri’s eyes. Even being called an asshole for staring he turned away, no- not here would he approach him, he would wait for his moment for them to be alone. Leaving he waited anxiously for the chance to talk to Yuri, with him either being constantly guarded by his coach or busy with practice Otabek found this very difficult. He wasn’t very social, he couldn’t just ‘go up to him’ no-not with that blonde’s attitude he would get shot down right quick he knew it. Somehow, fate was on his side. Late in the afternoon during a recreational ride on a rented motorcycle his phone pinged with an alert from Yuri’s Angels twitter. Opening his notifications he felt his heart race seeing that Yuri’s fans were tracking him down in the city streets not far from him, now was his chance. Eventually after turning a few side streets he saw a flash a blonde run down past an alley before a swarm of cat eared girls halted on the sidewalk trying to track the fairy’s scent, so weird. Revving his engine he immediately drove to the alley before his window of opportunity closed. Standing there in shock against the wall was indeed Yuri Plistesky, flushed a tad from his run of escaping his fans. Their paths clashed, and since that moment to follow in the sunset when he asked in his own seemingly uncaring way for Yuri to be his friend. Otabek’s heart gave a heavy thud when their hands joined sealing his heart to be forever guided by the Russian’s hands.

Every skype call and text between them made it harder and harder for Otabek to deny his feelings. No- why would he deny them? Otabek Altin was completely and utterly devoted to the Russian punk. The Hero of Kazakhstan struggled however in identifying Yuri’s own feelings toward him. Their friendship was far from any other he could compare with, their behaviors and attitudes-touches between them though never sexual were always driving him crazy. It became unbearable as the years passed, Otabek tried to keep up with their conversations, but it was so hard to act like he wasn’t tearing himself apart from the inside in fear of Yuri’s rejection should he confess.

He had to do it, for his own sanity Otabek had to break away from Yuri. He still loved him after all these years, he was tired of restraining himself. Holding his hand back from brushing the long locks of blonde hair over the Yuri’s shoulder bearing his neck which he desperately wanted to mark with his teeth and tongue. Tired he was of pretending that he didn’t want to bend his friend over any surface and see how flexible Yuri could be for him. Biting his lip to push away his thoughts of fisting his hand hard at the blonde’s long hair, tugging it back from Yuri’s face while he thrust up deep inside him. To bask in the beauty and honor of the view above him as the Russian would bounce over his cock in his arms, making Otabek feel like he was the luckiest man alive. He would want to see each wide eyed open-mouthed moan Yuri would sing for him should one of many of his fantasies become reality. Friends don’t think like this, Otabek reminded himself on more than one occasion. They don’t think about their friend naked or the sounds they would make, they don’t think things like that. Which is why the male knew he had to cut it off and separate himself from Yuri until he could get a grip over himself and this insatiable affection for his best friend. 

Otabek knew Yuri would be angry with him for ignoring his messages, but he didn’t expect the blonde to react as he did when he decided to call him back to apologize. The older male figured he would lie, say he was just busy and that his phone had died, but when he heard Yuri’s voice he found himself feeling incredibly guilty at even thinking of lying to him. He wanted to come clean, but Yuri wasn’t listening. What should he have expected when you have a hotheaded best friend who freaks out like a kid who didn’t get a toy in a happy meal. Each word that left Yuri’s mouth was a straight dagger in him. On one end, Otabek just wanted to merely admit defeat to Yuri’s cracking voice on. However, on the other end in Otabek’s mind he wanted demand that Yuri listen to him, tell him he was just acting out and should fucking shut up and listen. Conflicted he was practically voiceless as Yuri yelled at him, until-

_I hate you mom!_

Yes, that was what Yuri had said. Otabek then realized in time with the sound of shattering glass as the line went dead that those words were not really meant for him, not completely anyway. He tried calling back, fuck-immediately to voicemail. He tried skyping to try and contact him there hoping it would go through, that Yuri would call him and they could talk this out. It was then Mila had messaged him giving him the lowdown that Yuri had smashed his phone on the rink, which wasn’t helping his guilt at all knowing this information.  After sending another message his phone rang displaying Viktor’s name bright on the screen telling him they took him back to their house, that he got sick. Hearing this made Otabek’s heart clench, why couldn’t he be there to comfort Yuri through this. Guilt once again sank its claws deep inside him, his own fear of seeing Yuri with his feelings as they were weighed heavy upon him.

Unable to hold back from sending a message or two when he could over the rest of the night, he felt like a mad man as even late into the early morning after he tried to call him numerous times to reach the blonde he sent more messages Fear growing in the back of his mind in worry for his friend hoping he would read his messages soon. His heart leaped as he saw _Read_ suddenly appear at the bottom of his many messages. Otabek rushed in panic to type in a final plea for Yuri to contact him, watching the three dancing bullets along the corner were mocking.

_(Yura Just Now) Doesn’t feel so good does it?_

No it doesn’t, he couldn’t help but think to himself as he replied. Apologizing, pleading in his words for Yuri to at least speak to him to ease his troubled tired mind.

He didn’t know what had come over him, he had meant to pry and try and help Yuri with whatever turmoil he was feeling from their earlier phone conversation. Instead, he had opened up his wound of love deeper exposing himself bare for Yuri, his still in the palm of his hands and he still couldn’t see it. Otabek’s chest hurt so bad as he forced himself to end the call and logout. Why was he doing this? Torturing himself and Yuri, pushing his feelings on him when all he needed was support. He was a mess himself in more ways than one, he needed to fix himself before he could help Yuri. Stepping away was better right? He sat, for how long he had no clue but in the end there was one feeling.

Otabek was angry, mostly at himself. Being angry was an emotion Otabek didn’t like to involve himself in. Many of the emotions he had he kept back behind his stoic expression and monotone voice. He learned it was better to keep back his more dangerous emotions and remain the wallflower at events keeping himself out of trouble. It was for the best, he wasn’t the most social or vocal skater of the bunch so remaining his more introvertive self was preferable.  Though, when he was brought back to how he addressed Yuri over their video conversation. Otabek thought that when he spoke, without thinking he might add, about his feelings and remaining friends Yuri would agree with him. Unfortunately, when he saw those eyes. Those beautiful sea green eyes looking upon him he felt it, there was more. Something he had to for sure identify by word from Yuri himself but that was something to be done in person.

He first called his coach, after bargaining and pleading for a few days off and explaining mildly in context about what had happened he was granted a week. Then, the Kazakh called Viktor. His leg bounced as he began to pack a bag before he started searching for the first flight out. Hands were shaking as he fumbled about his room before hearing him pick up after the almost final ring.

“Hello? Whooze thissss?” A tired voice sounded through otherwise dark silent space of his room.

“Its Otabek I-“

A rather loud sound of rustling followed by another equally tired voice, that Otabek assumed was Yuuri, played over the speaker. “Otabek? I-we…um.” Viktor cleared his throat before speaking slowly and carefully with his words. “What..can I help you with?”

“I need to see Yura. Please. You said he was with you, I’m about to hop on a flight once I find out the soonest one. Viktor I..uh.” Shit this was such an awkward conversation. He never really talked to the man more than a few words every year. “I..”

There was a pause of silence on the other line. “You come. You can stay with us. He needs to see you too. You both have a lot to talk about.”

“Thank you.” Otabek said quietly before Viktor bid him goodbye and that he would have Yuuri or himself pick him up from the airport when he arrived. The next lot of time for him was a blur, he remembered packing his things anything further was merely a blur of blank space. Eyes of a soldier burning in his mind driving him onward. His heart beat rapidly in warning as it practically begged of him what he already knew. He was an idiot for thinking love was this complex thing. It was simple, love shouldn’t be hidden. Otabek would not let himself stare at a message waiting because he didn’t want to seem too eager. No more would he be hiding his emotions from the one person that mattered, nor would he keep back any fantasy or touch should Yuri accept him. No, he was done, no more.

 Otabek needed him, he needed _his_ Yura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for reading everyone <3 More soon to come :)  
> Thanks for the Kudos and comments. I always love coming back to see some :) <3 Thank you.  
> They're appreciated :) 
> 
> Stay tuned~


	6. One Beat;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone who has been keeping up with this story. <3

Yuri awoke at the sound of voices mixed about the otherwise quiet home that was Viktor and Yuuri’s. Laying there he felt shame, he shown weakness to them. He couldn’t remember too much of what had happened, but what he could recall made him feel embarrassment. He was man, no longer a teen-nor child, a man. Sighing he sat up slowly wincing as his head ached painfully thrashing aches in his skull. Throwing up his hair into a messy bun to the nap of his neck along the right side he looked below to see his favorite pillow right beneath his resting hands. It was just a small travel pillow, comfortable and even more so precious. It was one of his most prized possessions, a gift from his grandfather from many years ago. Petting his fingers over the tiger striped pattern, the male smiled at the memory- one he was happy he had not forgotten with time.

_A crying Yuri sniffled in his chair, a tattered old wooden thing inside a broken down less than home of a kitchen. It was a good few hours later when he heard his Grandfather walking through the front door, a few brown paper bags in hand as he slowly shuffled along the steps just a few lengths away from him. He looked down feeling ashamed, he had failed his Grandfather in going to bed. Tears streaming down the 6-year-old’s face, the older gentleman looked upon his grandson with great sorrow struggling to keep a smile upon his lips. “Yuratchka..my little Yuratchka" The old voice spoke wavering almost to keep a tear from his eye upon seeing the child in such a state. "come here Yura” Setting the bags down at his side he knelt with great difficulty beckoning the child to him._

_Young Yuri looked to his Grandfather with blurry eyes, his body trembling. Within a beat of a his heart he flew himself over latching himself onto his Grandpa, legs and arms wrapping completely around him. Nikolai ran his hands over the child’s hair in an attempt of comfort. “You must be tired, lets get you to bed little Yuratchka.” Yuri held onto him tighter burying his face into the older man’s neck not wanting to let go._

_Nikolai picked up the child slowly in time grabbing one of the bags, together they walked past the living room where his mother still inhabited. This time, she was lacing up her shoes pushing up her breasts while looking at her reflection in the mirror to then fix her hair. “Papa is that you?” She said not even sparing the pair much of a glance while she ran a finger over the bottom of her lip gloss fixing the smudges._  
  


_Shaking his head the older looked over at his daughter with disappointment, his hand holding tighter to the small child curled in his arms. “You and I will talk later. You best be here when I get done putting your son to bed.”_

_“I won’t. I’m leaving right now. My guy just pulled up.”  She chuckled looking over at her father’s expression before rolling her eyes. “Papa all he does is whine and cry, he needs to grow up. He wouldn’t go to bed.”_

_“He is a child Elizaveta!” Yuri flinched at his Grandfathers tone only for Nikolai’s eyes to soften The male turned away from his daughter before softly speaking, “We will talk about this.” Walking himself and the young blonde down the hall to their bedroom they shared, Yuri never really knew why. When once he asked he was told he wouldn’t want to be in his mother’s room, it was better this way. He was not going to argue as even at his age he felt completely safe with his Dedushka._

_Crawling into bed, Yuri apologized softly in a squeak under his breath. “I’m sorry I’m not a man Dedushka. Mama was mad with me for not being brave to go to bed..I’m sorry.” Nikolai looked to him with pained eyes as he brushed a hand over the top of his small blonde head._

_“You will one-day Yuri. You’ll grow up strong and brave-not afraid of anything. You will, this I promise you. I will be here for you as long as I can, but there will come a day when I won’t be.” The younger’s eyes blinked in confusion. “I brought you something Yuratchka, from the factory.” The elder leaned down grabbing the brown paper bag. “Close your eyes.” The smaller did just that, his fingers moving just a tad to peek. “No peeking.” Quickly Yuri replaced his fingers completely covering his eyes as then something soft rest on his legs. “Okay, open.”_

_Yuri opened his eyes to see a bright supportive smile upon his Dedushka’s face. Looking down to his lap with the reassurance he saw a brightly fresh colored pillow, with ‘the skin’ of a tiger. It was incredibly soft and fluffy as he pressed his fingers down into it. “Is it mine?” The child asked looking up past the growing strands of his hair with eyes of wonder and hope._

_“Yes Yura, its yours.” Immediately the smaller hugged his Grandfather tightly. “I want you to hold tight to this if you’re feeling scared okay? If you need me and I’m not there,” The male pressed a hand over top of Yuri’s own that rested on the pillow. “give this pillow a squeeze and I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Using his free hand, Nikolai brushed back Yuri’s bangs displaying his beautiful eyes. “You are strong Yuratchka, a /true/ Plisetsky. You will do great things.”_

_“Thank you Dedushka. I’ll keep it forever.”_

Smiling fondly at such a memory Yuri held tight to the edge of the small worn travel pillow. He had taken it everywhere since then. That pillow followed him to every competition knowing in spirit his Grandfather was there supporting him. Using that comfort briefly letting the energy flow, he took another breath before deciding to leave his cave of a room. He owed the disgusting lovebirds an apology.

It wasn’t until he opened his bedroom door that he heard not two, but three voices. Slowly tip-toeing around the corner down the hall, his eyes went wide while his brain tried to connect the voice to face matching.

“Thanks for having me again, both of you” Whomever it was, there were male-they sounded incredibly tired as there was shuffling of shoes against the wooden floor. “Is he sleeping, I’d really like to-“ The voice halted speaking in follows in a soft gasp of a whisper. “Yura?” The Russian halted suddenly when he heard his name, his face still looking to the ground at his feet while his facial expression became over done in by shock.

Snapping his head up at the low worn out, desperate even of a voice as it spoke his name Yuri’s eyes locked on Otabek. There he was, suddenly there standing next to Yuuri and Viktor in the living room, eyes sunken in by sleepless dark circles. His uppercut a mess, shirt wrinkled under two bags over his shoulders meaning he must have just arrived-and in haste. Yuri’s heart gave one beat, something he had grown to accept as pure Plisetsky instinct, before he then bolted the rest of the way. His socks making him slip a tad as he rushed across the space between him and his friend his mind raced.

He was here, Otabek was here suddenly before him looking upon Yuri in that moment as if he held every answer the Kazakh could ever want in his hand. His body fueled by pure adrenaline, Yuri rushed toward him watching as Otabek immediately dropped his bags pushing his arms out, beckoning the blonde. “ _Come here Yura._ ” Even in soft encouragement, Yuri could hear the plea within the sound. With a strong leap of his legs, the male jumped up into other’s awaiting arms latching his own around the Kazakh’s neck with his legs wrapped tight around the man’s waist. Otabek’s arms snatched the blonde against him simultaneously with a slight grunt holding him tight before releasing a sigh of relief into Yuri’s long hair pressed against his face.

Yuri kept his face buried against the crook of Otabek’s shoulder refusing to loosen his muscles from the tight hold over him. He didn’t pay the married couple any mind as they smiled telling Yuri they would be back in an hour to give them some privacy. As the pair departed he noticed Viktor gave him a little wink, but he didn’t care about such teasing he realized as Otabek’s hand pet over his head.  He could hear the male’s whispers against him, all words he couldn’t understand, but he could feel in his heart their meaning.

“My Yura.” Otabek said softly against him, lips teasing over the skin of his ear while slowly trying to pull back away from him. However, Yuri shook his head pressing the balls of his heels tighter to the other’s back refusing to release his hold. He knew they needed to talk and work whatever this was between them out, but the Russian couldn’t begin to think to let go of his friend.

He just had to do it, just say it now and be strong; fearless. “I-“

“I love you” Yuri’s eyes went wide at hearing those words spoken to him again, this time face to face, body to body. His defenses weakened, Otabek made use of pulling Yuri back just enough to see his sea-green eyes brimmed a tad red with tears pricking at the corners. “I love you Yura. Since-“

“You ass” Yuri smacked Otabek’s shoulder eyes narrowed upon him. At first Otabek thought it was a mistake, that even against what he wanted to show and be true maybe he should have waited. However after seeing the small blush dusting on the blonde’s cheeks he let his lips curl into a small smile as he took notice those narrowing eyes were nothing more than those of a kitten.

“Did I interrupt you Kotehok?” He gave a little smirk at the corners of his lips as watching the blonde bite over his bottom lip. Then suddenly a hand was in his hair as Yuri lifted himself up a tad in Otabek’s hold. Otabek felt a shiver run over him at the blonde’s eyes bearing into his soul.

‘ _I LOVE YOU_ asshole.” Yuri hissed out, all signs of a kitten trying to play off as a tiger, it was cute really Otabek found himself falling deeper in love. The blush deepened over Yuri’s cheeks as he spoke his feelings, for the first time out loud.

Otabek freed one of his hands while bracing the other to continue holding Yuri up as not to drop him. He then reached back taking one of the blonde’s hands from around his neck intertwining their fingers to then press them close to his chest over his rapidly beating heart. “Feel? It’s been waiting for you.” He says without fear slipping back into his normal tone, steady and sure.

“Oh my god Beka! I’m trying to confess that I love you too loser and you’re just being all-smooth..being dumb with sappy bullshit.” Yuri huffed however tightening his fingers in their joined holding of hands. He could feel the rapid soft beat of Otabek’s heart thumping wildly like thunder under the back of his palm.

Otabek chuckled softly, chest rumbling in a way that made Yuri pissed at how he thought that was a beautiful sound blessing his ears. “Can I kiss you Yura?” The Kazakh whispered low to the other’s ear making a shiver run over and throughout the Russian’s body.

Nodding Yuri began to lean forward to kiss him, a soft peck of the lips was pressed to his own. Nothing that even could be considered really a kiss, and too fast to feel any warmth of the other’s skin. Yuri frowned as opening his eyes narrowing them at Otabek’s own that were staring right through him. The dark-haired male was smiling at him again looking like a grade A love sick dumbass. Yuri growled lowly at the other, slightly annoyed he was at that pathetic excuse of a kiss. The man asked to kiss him, why didn’t he just kiss him properly?  “that’s it?” He scoffed at him, eyes narrowed still in obvious aggravation.

Suddenly with a sound vibrating from Otabek’s throat the man crashed their lips together making Yuri’s head spin in a rush from the contact. It wasn’t rough, but untamed in the soft controlling pass of their lips over one another’s. In one fluid movement as their lips parted, Otabek guided them to the couch sitting down to have Yuri rest over top of him straddling his legs. “I mean it.” The man breathed out pressing a soft kiss on the blonde’s pale neck holding still for a beat before pulling back with a shuttering breath. “I love you so much Yura.” He looked up at the blonde above him, truth like fire in his eyes.

Yuri leaned down joining their lips pressing in a deep longing kiss, gentle and soft like the one pressed to the pulse of his neck. Pulling back himself he shivered, in excitement or nerves maybe even a combination racing in his veins. “I love you too.” He felt Otabek start to remove his arms from around him. “-Don’t!” He whispered in panic, eyes wide in alarm. “Don’t let me go.” Whispering this softer under his breath not wanting even the wind to hear.

“Never” A deep voice rang through him as the male rested his hands upon Yuri’s hips, fingers just barely under his shirt rubbing his thumb in slow circles. Silence passed between them, fingers pressed soft teasing his skin under the blonde’s shirt, his own dancing their teasing outlining the other’s buzzed hair at the nape of his neck. At some point Otabek ended up laying on the couch with the Russian’s body pressed over the length of his own. The pair was exhausted, having much to talk over when the day caught up with them. Right now, this moment was theirs and both knew with the reassurance of soft touches there would be many more. They would discover what this was between them together, making it their own. That would be tomorrow, for today—there was sleep through admittance mutual love and that was enough.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, only a few more to go on this one because--I decided I'm going to make it a series instead. Making it easier on me with all the ideas I have for this story. There is much more to come. <3 and for those who follow me on that journey I thank you. Honestly, this story though just an outlet to get my mind off stress--it makes me happy to write it. 
> 
> Thank you again, more on the series coming soon :)   
> Stay tuned.   
> Comments and kudos appreciated <3


	7. Hero?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO~ Guys~!!!! <3 I'm making this a series <3 Stay tuned!!!!!!!! --Subscribe to stay updated :)

Everything came slowly creeping back to memory with each glide of the sun’s light passing over the room with time. How long they must have been laying there, simply breathing in each other’s unique smell with the Kazakh’s hand still running softly through the other’s hair. It could only have been an hour or two, but time had ceased between the pair. No distinction between where they began to then end upon the couch they currently lay sprawled lazily upon.

In the corner, Otabek’s bags were still forgotten with the pathway rug overturned and curled from Yuri’s haste. Only the very faint sound of a ticking clock teased the silence the two were entranced in with one another. Neither Viktor nor Yuuri made themselves known as they reentered their home, both quiet as passing past the lounging pair whom were tangled up in a loving embrace upon their couch.  Viktor had wanted to snap a picture, but with his ever wise and knowing husband shook his head in distaste tugging the Russian by his scarf to follow him down the hallway.

“Yura” Otabek said softly into the blonde’s ear, whom only gave a small sound of a whine before moving to tug himself closer to the other’s chest. Giving a small chuckle that rumbled in his throat, Otabek used his hand that was threaded through the long gold tresses to brush them to one side.  “Yuraaa” He sing-songed in a low gentle tone before pressing a slow wet kiss to Yuri’s pale neck. The darker haired male figured his friend had fallen asleep judging from the delayed reaction of another noise. Blushing, the man froze, the sound was much like the cute mew of a kitten-very fitting of his friend. The thought made him flush in curiosity at what other sounds the other would make for him. Sweet music to his ears. Shaking himself away from those perversions for now, Otabek thought he might have to persuade the Russian to wake up, they needed to have a discussion. He very much needed to have little talk about the many thoughts and feelings that were weighing heavy on them both that had to come to light.

Sitting up slowly holding Yuri still close to him he sat back against the arm of the couch. “Yura.” He spoke again cupping the blonde’s face in his palms lifting his face brushing a few strands gently from his cheeks. God, he loved this beyond dangerous creature that was Yuri Plisetsky. He had yet to still learn everything about the male and he couldn’t help but want to memorize everything. The Russian’s eyes fluttered slightly, fighting on opening they scrunched a tad as the younger tried to sleepily pull himself closer in attempt to stay asleep. Otabek shook his head, his friend always seemed to be a heavy sleeper, pushing back on Yuri’s body he brushed a thumb under the blonde’s tired eyelids. “Come on beautiful,” The words had slipped, but he would never regret them as he meant every syllable. “We need to talk, then I can put you to bed if you’re still tired.”

With that those beautiful green eyes peaked open, blinking first before then narrowing. “You woke me up.”

Otabek let a hand glide up the blonde’s back rubbing over the fabric of his shirt softly. “I did, I’m sorry.”

Yuri’s cheeks flushed red as the other’s hand ran comforting circles along his spine. “It’s fine I guess..” He looked elsewhere before then turning his gaze back to look down at his friend. “What is it?”

“I think we need to talk about this Yura.” He said softly letting his roaming hand rest at the lower base of Yuri’s spine. Otabek could sense the blonde’s nervous attitude even with his gaze trying to appear confident. He could easily read him on the surface, it is what he is thinking that the male wants to master. “How about this, we each ask each other a question-something more recently between us. We answer a hundred percent in truth. Makes us both even right? If…” The Kazazh began as remembering his conversation with Yuri the other day. Knowing that there was something the blonde held deep down at his center from his past Otabek felt worry pass over him. “If there is something you are afraid to talk about, you can ‘pass’ Okay?” He watched the male slowly nod at the terms. “You can even go first. Ask me anything you want to know, I’ll be honest and answer.”

There was no hesitance in the blonde’s face before he spoke up.  “Why did you just stop talking to me? Because you were afraid?”

“I was so afraid.” Otabek held tightly to the blonde. “I knew I admired you from the very start, but once we saw each other again in Barcelona…I was wondering how I was ever going to let you go. Every little thing from that moment forward made me fall harder for you Yura. I thought things-oh fuck…” He whispered low into the blonde’s ear his hands along the blonde’s back and hip squeezed tightly. “If only you knew the things I thought of doing to you.” Otabek pulled back with a gasping breath. “That is why I stopped talking to you. I felt disgusted with myself for feeling things for you so strongly that I couldn’t even look at you without thinking something filthy. So, I pulled back, for the better of us thinking if I pulled away for a while my feelings would fade. I never thought you would ever feel the same, even with our rather unique closeness of friendship.” He smiled lovingly at Yuri’s bowed head, who was without a doubt blushing. “Yuri Plisetsky” He brushed a hand pushing some hair behind Yuri’s ear. “You became both my weakness and strength in more ways than one.”   


Yuri’s face was in fact blushing, as he listened to Otabek’s answer. “A simple yes was too much for your normal three-word sentences?” He said in a flush commenting on the other’s doting speech.

Merely smiling, Otabek tugging the blonde closer. “My turn Kotehok, where do you see this going? I’d like to date you officially. I mean, if that is alright with you? I really want to see where _this_ takes us.”

“Is that really your question?” Yuri groaned as hugging himself close to the other. “Of course, I want to. I can’t imagine being with anyone else but you.”

“Good”

“Besides you’re the only one I tolerate for more than an hour” Yuri teased as playfully tugging back on Otabek’s hair making the Kazakh almost growl; almost. However, though Otabek thought the strain was soundless, it was obvious Yuri had heard it when he then said, “So, next question. What types of things did you think about doing to me Beka~” Yuri smirked teasing his voice at Otabek’s ear.

Otabek cursed as Yuri asked this, he was trying to keep his intense sexual attract to the Russian at bay. Seemingly, Yuri was bent on testing him to see how far he could push, and honestly Otabek didn’t think he wanted to play that game. “Yura I really don’t think now is the time-“ His eyes widened.

Suddenly the male was pushed down by the thin, yet built, blonde above him. “Tell me.”

“Yura really-I’m serious” Otabek breathed, if they were alone he couldn’t fight he might have an issue refusing the other to speak of this, but Viktor and Yuuri were still in this house probably eavesdropping on their _Yurio’s_ conversation.

Sighing Yuri pulled away sitting back away from the other. “Fine.”

If anything felt like a stab to his pride it would be that moment, Otabek would without question give Yuri anything in this world. Just there was no possible way they could discuss that within the walls of the Nikiforov-Katsuki residence. That was for another time, right now he had to break away that defeated expression on his now boyfriend’s face. “I promise Yuri.” He said hushed in an all serious tone. “Anytime, just not here.” His eyes gave the intent of a very thorough promise.

Rolling his eyes, the Russian agreed. He supposed the Kazakh was right, they really didn’t need a poodle and his piggy to be listening into that conversation. Their talk extended on into details here and there about each other, most were merely clarifications on what they already knew about one another. Let’s face it, they knew each other like the back of their hands. When it seemed like the discussion was coming near its end, Otabek spoke up clearing his throat with a hum, a nervous tick Yuri understood meaning he was nervous. “I want to ask something Yura…its very important. You don’t have to answer in depth..or at all, but I just really want to know…” Yuri’s head tilted curiously at his boyfriend wondering what possibly could Otabek want to know that he hadn’t already, they were best friends of course he would tell him anything. “About your mom…” Except that.

“I don’t want to talk about that.” He said quickly not wanting bad memories to surface, he just wanted Otabek. Nothing else, just his friend, their dumb talking, and the fantasy of him being perfect just once.

His boyfriend nodded slowly, “We don’t have to, just please Yuri. Please promise me that when you are ready, you will tell me.” Otabek pleaded.

“I promise” Yuri said quickly just wanting this conversation over. Otabek must have sensed that as he tugged Yuri up into his arms as he stood up. “You know I can walk you know asshole” He bit out in his usual bratty tone.

“Yes, but I promised to take my kotehok to bed once our talk was over.” Before Yuri could register what was happening he was suddenly flipped onto Otabek’s shoulder with him spatting out a sound of protest.

“ASSHOLE!’ He snarled with no real hate smacking his fists on the other’s back, he could have easily in truth got away. “Let go you fuck!” Yuri tried to prop himself up on the Otabek’s back only to slump forward his long hair swaying side to side.

Otabek carried the man down the hall with a little stride in his step, his expression remained neutral as passing by a staring pair of Viktor and Yuuri standing curiously in their bedroom door way. The Kazakh gave them a tilting quick bow of thanks to them as continuing to walk down the hall with Yuri hiding his face in embarrassment.

The married couple looked to each other in amusement watching Otabek carry their pretty much adopted son down the hall before heading back out to the now ‘open’ living room to enjoy their day happy the pair had seemingly worked things out.

Being plopped onto his bed, Yuri huffed a huge inhale sitting up, prepared to yell only to have a pair of lips collide with his own making him completely halt. A beat passed in which then Otabek pulled away looking at a stunned Yuri blankly staring at him. Chuckling the male stepped back, “I’m going to go grab my things and shower. If you’re truly still tired Yura you can sleep, you don’t have to wait up for me. Don’t lie and tell me you aren’t because Viktor told me you hadn’t gotten much sleep last night.” Pressing one more kiss to the blonde’s lips Otabek pulled away to then exit the room leaving Yuri alone with his heart racing and spiraling thoughts.

It took a moment or two after hearing the shower running for Yuri to awaken from his stupor. Falling to his back he stared up at the ceiling pressing a hand to his chest over his rapidly beating heart. Was this even real?

He lay there breathing in and out softly to then stare at his door way watching shadows of moving bodies shuffle across the light of the hallway. When Otabek reentered the room Yuri nearly fell off the bed at the sight of his friend-no boyfriend wearing a pair of sweatpants low on his hips. Shirtless with water still dripping beads down his lightly hair covered chest to his stomach and even lower. Lower on the other hand Yuri had to snap his gaze back up which met with an amused expression on Otabek’s face. “Waited up for me?”

Yuri huffed in embarrassment as turning over tugging the blanket over himself facing away from the Kazakh. The desk lamp was turned off with a dip into the bed at his side, arms snaking around his waist. “Is this okay?” A low whisper pressed to Yuri’s ear. Of course, it was! Idiot was still too far away! Yuri grabbed Otabek’s hand, raising fear that he would be pushed away only to tug the male closer to him to then replace his boyfriend’s hand back overtop the other around his stomach.

“Now it is.” A pouting voice sounded making Otabek smile against the blonde’s hair that was smothering his fool in love expression. As his fingers teased lovingly over Yuri’s stomach he sighed, this gift of this beautiful man in his arms was anything he could have asked to be blessed with in his life. A dangerous thought passed over Otabek’s mind as he grew closer to sleep, the imagery of the blonde’s moaning face passed briefly over the Kazakh’s eyes making his breath catch in his throat. Tightening his arms a tad protectively around the Russian, who was already passed out judging from his deep breathing, Otabek shivered slightly. He would be the hero this kitten needs, he told himself. Another lusting image taunted his chivalrous mind, tempting him. The male refused to let such temptations sway him, Otabek buried his face more into the blonde’s shoulder inhaling the scent of what seemed to be green apple shampoo to calm himself. He wouldn’t allow it, he wouldn’t allow himself, _the hero_ , to fall to then see himself become _the villain_ to his beautiful Yura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone for the support.   
> I will be uploading next story in the series most likely tomorrow :) Thanks for keeping up with me guys <3   
> Comments and kudos greatly appreciated. If you want to be updated when I post the second story of this series please subscribe to me <3 THANK YOU EVERYONE <3


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